1 Real Artists Have Day Jobs 4 -- 2 How to Read a Book 9 -- 3 Everything Is Intersectional 15 -- 4 It Gets Better, Mostly 19 -- 5 Do It Anyway 29 -- 6 Put Your Clutter in Purgatory 34 -- 7 When You Don't Know What to Do, Ask a Successful Woman 37 -- 8 You Can Do Magic 45 -- 9 Feel All the Feelings 50 -- 10 There Will Be Shit Days 58 -- 11 Elect Your Own Executive Board 66 -- 12 Take Care of Your Teeth 70 -- 13 Stop Apologizing for Everything 75 -- 14 Radical Overconfidence 78 -- 15 Join the Fancy Club at the Airport 84 -- 16 When You Can't Figure Something Out, Put Yourself in Water 90 -- 17 Take the Compliment 92 -- 18 Go Fuck Yourself (No, Really! Masturbation Is Important) 100 -- 19 Wear a Weird Hat 102 -- 20 Listen 104 -- 21 Power of Being a Dork 106 -- 22 Everything's Not Alright (and That's Alright) 116 -- 23 Life Is Too Short for Shitty Friends 124 -- 24 Self-Care for Women in Comedy 134 -- 25 Prioritize Sleep 137 -- 26 Sleep Naked 142 -- 27 Ask Questions 144 -- 28 Surprise! You Don't Have to Love Your Family 149 -- 29 Breathe 156 -- 30 Give It Away Now 164 -- 31 Abuse Is Fucking Complicated 167 -- 32 Make Art Like a Little Kid 175 -- 33 Bridge the Gaps in Your Pop Cultural Education 179 -- 34 When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them 183 -- 35 Ask for Exactly What You Want 187 -- 36 Don't Buy Into the Marriage Myth 193 -- 37 Tell Your Partner What You Like in Bed 196 -- 38 Gratitude Ss Underrated 200 -- 39 Write Fan Letters 204 -- 40 Acknowledge That Having a Kid Doesn't Make You an Adult 208 -- 41 A Vagina Is Not a Time Machine 211 -- 42 Always Say Hello to Older People, Because They Are Invisible 215 -- 43 Identify a Personal Prejudice and Educate It into Nonexistence 218 -- 44 Let an Animal Adopt You 222 -- 45 Walk Your Way to a Solution 232 -- 46 It's Always Time to Play 236 -- 47 Realize Your Dress Size Doesn't Matter 238 -- 48 Darkness Is Where the Good Stuff Starts 241 -- 49 Your Normal Is Not Everybody Else's Normal 246 -- 50 This Too Shall Pass 250 -- 51 Always Celebrate Rainbows 251 -- 52 Look in the Mirror and Say "I Love You" 252.