Includes bibliographical references (pages 247-252) and index.

Chapter 1 Claw Will Take Your Money: "10 - 2 = 8" 1 -- Chapter 2 Own the World: "Don't Put All of Your Eggs in One Basket" 17 -- Chapter 3 Advantage of Having Wall Street Marketing Blinders (and Where Can I Get Some?): "I Don't Watch Cramer; I Like SpongeBob" 41 -- Chapter 4 Adults Behaving Badly: "Don't Act Silly When Something Is Important" 67 -- Chapter 5 Can You Beat a Second Grader's Portfolio?: "I'm Not Going to Win All Three Spins" 89 -- Chapter 6 Beyond the Second-Grader Portfolio: "If Dad Says There's a Better Way, I Might Try It, but I'm Not So Sure" 107 -- Chapter 7 Bonds-Your Portfolio's Shock Absorber: "Don't Lend Money to Someone Who Won't Pay You Back" 123 -- Chapter 8 Better Than Bonds: "If the Teacher Promises You'll Be Paid Back, Then It's Okay to Lend Randy Money" 141 -- Chapter 9 Simply Brilliant or Brilliantly Simple-Building Your Portfolio: "Don't Bet Your Lunch Money" 157 -- Chapter 10 Investors Who Love to Pay Taxes, and the IRS Who Loves Them: "Don't Pay Taxes If You Don't Have To" 179 -- Chapter 11 Nightmare off Wall Street-The Scary Tale of Trick-or-Treat Investing: "If the Game Is Too Hard to Understand, I'm Not Playing" 193 -- Chapter 12 Increase Your Return No Matter What the Market Does: "If You Pick the Low-Hanging Fruit, You Don't Have to Climb the Tree" 215 -- Chapter 13 Keep It Simple, Stupid (KISS): "Why Do Grownups Have to Make Things So Complicated?" 227.